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My mother and my father do not share a good relationship and it has been ages, since when she has been providing for the family. My father does not help, because he is extremely egoistic and won't work under somebody at any cost because it doesn't serve his ego well.

He has tried his hands at business and failed utterly, each time, because all he has is ideas which are no doubt brilliant but he is not practical enough to put those ideas to execution in the right way and he invariably gets into tiffs with his partners because they are the ones who are investing money as he has no capital and thus will want my dad to work as per their terms, whether subconsciously or consciously, the situation always takes this turn and that is when he quits.

This has been a huge setback for my family. My dad is disrespectful of my mother because of his insecurities, does not acknowledge her efforts and is dominating to an extent where he never accepts his faults and ends up hurting my mother, disregarding everything she does for the family. He keeps saying that he can take away her job any time he pleases and that because he does not want to work as he is too qualified to work under somebody in a junior position is why he has got her to work.

As you can make out, how hurtful such statements and how extremely painful it gets for my mother to hear to such things. They constantly quarrel whenever they talk, so they don't even talk to each other too much.

But this has taken a huge toll on my mother and is getting worse by the day. She has stopped going anywhere, where my dad must accompany and it includes all kinds of social gatherings, even weddings of close ones. She says she doesn't feel like going anywhere with him and she has secluded herself from everything so much that she doesn't even go out and socialize. She doesn't spend money on herself and only saves up for my future and for their old age. She tells me that she is tired of the job she is doing. She is tired of compromising on the luxuries of life. She can't deal with office politics anymore but only because my father doesn't have a job is why she has to tolerate all sorts of stuff because she can't afford to lose the job.

It hurts me too much to have to watch my mother go through such a turmoil. My dad hangs out with his friends, and has an active social life, but my mother does all the worrying about the future and it is eating into her. Talking to my dad is not even an option. He is not the one to understand and take a step, if he had to, he would have by now. I am a 22 years old woman. I barely earn something out of writing articles online, and my mother gives me the rest which I try to save as much as possible.

I can't wait to get a job myself but this emotional trauma that my mother is going through and the way it has affected her is getting too much for me to bare.

Please help. Please kindly tell me how to help my mother go about it.
asked Jan 23 in Family and Relationships by anonymous | 25 views

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Hey there, I can understand the phase through which you are going at the present. All I can say is that always remain by your mother's side and keep encouraging her every now and then, which your father has failed to do so. If things turn out to be more worse, separate yourselves from your father for a   peaceful environment and start living in a separate house. If this is not possible, then tell your close relatives to have a talk with him and hint at his errors. Moreover as her child, it is your duty to uplift her lost spirit. Assure her with the belief that she isn't alone,for you are with her as well as those well wishers who really wants her happiness. Tell your mother that IR's no use sitting within the four walls and creating a mental set back of her professional life because of her not caring husband. Cheer her up with positive thoughts and a soothing gesture of a well refined child. Remember as her only child if you do this, she will overcome all her griefs. Just stand by her side and polish the dust from her soul.
answered Jan 24 by Chirasree sengupta
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